I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
