if i died would you start the facebook group?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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