I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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