i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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