yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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