you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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