break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
