I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
