i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
