ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
