One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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