Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think my moral compass just broke
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
