Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
