Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
