the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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