apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
