dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
