i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Boobs are out for the taking
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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