i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize