his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
