she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
