how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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