That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
