Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
