his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize