And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
did i just pee glitter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
