I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
