My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
