Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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