he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
