I heard we made out
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
