Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
