I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize