My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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