just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize