while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
