i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
