Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
