he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
