Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
