update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize