the condom got lost in my hair
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
