omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
