Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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