Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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