i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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