Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
