so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
