He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
