I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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