dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
North Korea, Best Korea!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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