If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i out mim tonsoeep
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
