If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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