I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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