just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize