At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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