Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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